The Manliness of Home Management

I haven't written for quite a while, probably because I stopped drinking coffee for a few months. Originally I thought I had a lot of natural energy and drive, but it turned out to be caffeine. The lack of anxiety I felt was nice, but the lack of motivation to do almost anything but sleep was not. It made me realize that a lot of things had been artificially propped up by my excess nervous energy. The pointlessness of having a meticulously cleaned apartment and organized minute by minute schedule became depressing.  Did it really make the difference I believed it would for myself and my family? 

I have started drinking coffee again ( probably why I'm writing) and still believe in the merits of an organized life and space . But given the perspective I've gained, I can't get all excited about it like I used too.

I feel now like I am focusing more on relationships than before. Building a strong relationship may be Intangible , but it's no less real than building a custom car , home organizing routine , or clean environment. It's actually a lot similar in that if you take leave of the upkeep they all rust and breakdown and fall apart. I guess I used to think that things were better than relationships because you have control over them and can touch and see them. But relationships are just as real; probably more real.